Marriage is much more than a man and woman becoming one, especially when blending two families. “If the joining of two people is like in marriage is comparable to joining two different cultures, then the joining of two people who have been married, divorced, and have children would be more like merging two different galaxies” (LeBey , 2004). A successful marriage this time around is a gift to everyone in the families, particularly the children who have suffered through a death or divorce already. Therefore, it is important to include the children in the marriage ceremony. When the children are included in the wedding ceremony, the ceremony also sets the announcement for the new family as well as the beginning of a foundation as one. The Blending of the Sands Ceremony has an adaption for blending families where each family member pours a unique sand (color or from special spot) in a vase or container to represent one part of the union. Children are included in the vows as well. The vase can be displayed in a focal point in the new family home to symbolize the union and love of the new family.
David Romanelli is captivating. I met him years ago in one of his yoga classes. His thoughts are deep and his music is unexpected. Each time I left his class I continued to process his words and felt like I was a better person for having had the experience. Dave has a new book, Yeah Dave’s Guide to Livin’ the Moment. This book will have you laughing, contemplating life, and reflecting on your personal growth. His quotes and stories are unmatched. I asked Dave a few questions so you will get to know him a bit before you read his book. His response to what keeps him real “Is the bump and grind of life. There is no shortage of humbling moments in my life and the fear that keeps me real. I’m always letting my students know that I am not preaching from a pulpit but rather starting a dialogue….how do we get a grip on the madness?” He explains that a combination of Wayne Dyer and David Sedaris would be his ultimate goal for his inspiration, and this is Dave speaking not the critics. He shares a story about a time when he felt successful at being a commercial actor. He booked a commercial with Cuba Gooding and gathered all of his friends to watch as he was expecting to hit pay dirt. However, he was cut from the commercial at the last minute. Dave describes his thoughts at this time, “I could not live this way, never knowing my income and busting my butt waiting tables. So I moved away from LA with my tail between my legs.” This moment of disappointment led to opening the yoga studios in Phoenix with a few good friends. He further explains that, I think my life would have been drastically different and I would have never have gotten deep into yoga and discovered the path I am on now… “To every end there is a new beginning.”
A few of Yeah Dave’s favorite moments are getting in his own bed after returning from the road, a Peet’s coffee, hearing a song for the first time knowing the music will be perfect for one of his classes. More of Dave’s favorite moments are, “reading something enlightening, even a quote, that opens his mind and sheds some light, and last but not least, a home-cooked meal followed by sinking into his couch to watch a Laker game.”
Dave has many things on the horizon. He is working on a TV show that he describes as,” sort of like a spiritual Curb your Enthusiasm, and he is planning his 2010 teacher training. Dave has tons of material for his next book (he adds, God willing). And my personal favorite, cologne for yoga teachers that combines the smell of bacon and patchouli!” How do you think of these things?!!? The whole Yeah Dave name came about because he loves to ask questions…. “many of them absurd, weird, odd….but to live with me like my girlfriend does, let’s just say I am allowed one crazy question per day.”
I look forward to your next book, Yeah Dave! I will look for your new cologne as well, will this be found next to the Drakkar? In chapter one, Yeah Dave’s guide to Livin’ the Moment, Yeah Dave has a Drakkar night exercise including putting on “Don’t stop Believing”, spraying 5 sprays of Drakkar: one on the third eye, one on the heart center, one spray on each nipple, closing your eyes lie back and see where it takes you, if you imagine parachute pants and Lionel Richie you are livin’ the moment.
When things are going perfectly well, when one is on top of the world, why should one be neurotic? The problem arises only when you suddenly find that you are no longer at the top. You are in a ditch, dark and dismal, and now things are not succeeding. That is when neurosis enters. The same energy that was becoming ambition, and which you were riding, turns against you in failure, starts killing you, and starts destroying you.
If every neurotic person were to succeed, there would be no more neurosis in the world. When Hitler was successful, nobody ever suspected that he was mad. But in the last moment he himself knew that he was mad- he committed suicide. The problem arises only when you are not succeeding. One has to be just playful while one is succeeding. Develop that attitude of playfulness. Success and failure are not the point- to enjoy whatever you are doing is the point.
Each success is followed by failure, each day is followed by a night, and each love is followed by darkness. Life is a progression, a movement, nothing is static. Now you are young; one day you will be old. Now you have so many friends, one day you will not have any. Now you have money, one day you will not (or vice versa). If you are playful, nothing is wrong. Just one quality has to be developed-playfulness.
OSHO. (2002). Everyday OSHO, OSHO International Foundation.
Ignite with Robert Van Arlen!
Well, it takes a special person to inspire and motivate me personally and professionally. Robert Van Arlen is one of the unique, amazing, thoughtful people in this huge universe that does just that. Wow! He success grows each day as he unleashes brillance in all he does.
Robert Van Arlen is One of a Kind….I met Robert through his amazing group called Igniters. Robert and each Igniter will inspire you to achieve your potential, help you grow, give back to the community and feel truly energized by life.
Robert Van Arlen is an internationally-known business results speaker, author and emcee. His book titled, “Focused Synergy,” provides specific guidance on vision and values alignment for individuals and organizations, critical for unifying and driving successful organizations today. Robert is renowned for his highly engaging speeches, training and team building programs. He believes that great leaders constantly evolve and that passion is their foundation for contagious success.
For the past 10 years Robert has delivered hundreds of programs to audiences worldwide, including Proctor Gamble, Cigna Healthcare, Verizon and Gerber Products. He was the featured speaker for the World ATM Conference, the Country Club Association of America Conference and the 2007 Jobing.com Hospitality Symposium.
From CEO’s to celebrities, Robert gets everyone inspired. He understands that most audiences today are highly technical, and keeping their attention requires the ability to entertain and educate simultaneously. The energy he brings motivates and moves everyone in the room.
Robert’s group, Igniters, drives me each week to be a better person personally and professionally as well as connecting to the community and other liked-minded people. His book, Focused Synergy, is a must read and re-read book. While you read his words, you will feel Robert’s magical energy and take it with you on your journey!
Thank you Robert!
Visit Robert at www.robertvanarlen.com, and you will glad you did!
Brigitte Wangberg, M.S., MFT
The Village Barbershop is a captivating film… solid, entertaining, and unique. Chris Ford is the writer and director of The Village Barbershop. His passion for his work is felt by all involved and expressed throughout the film. Chris had a vision, and he followed his heart to make his dream a reality.
Starring legendary character actor John Ratzenberger and The Gilmore Girl’s Shelly Cole, this is the humorous, sweet tale of a fading old man who’s lost his way and a determined young woman looking to find hers. Two unlikely people offered a second chance in one unlikely place – The Village Barbershop.
For more info visit www.thevillagebarbershop.com
Enjoy The Village Barbershop at home, now available on DVD.
Best, Brigitte Wangberg
“You will see that when you put the marriage first, you benefit the blended family far more than if you as a newly married couple had focused only on the children’s adjustment to your new relationship.” –B. LeBey.
A healthy remarriage is a gift to all family members, especially after going through the pain of a death or divorce. Blending families requires compromise and understanding. The marriage must be the priority, because another divorce or loss would be dreadful for all. Blending families is a dynamic process and will continue to be through the many years ahead. Things to be Mindful of When Blending Families:
· Talk as little as possible about your ex-spouses.
· Show your children they can trust you, keep your promises.
· Don’t buy your children’s love.
· Present as cohesive and consistent. Commit to being on the same page in regards to routines, homework, house rules.
· Discuss areas of disagreement away from your children.
· Compromise, make decisions together.
· Spend 30 minutes a day, uninterrupted with your children.
· Incorporate traditions from both previous homes.
Brigitte Wangberg, M.S., MFT
Parenting Questions to Ponder After Divorce:
1. Am I mindful that my children have their own pain?
2. Do I keep my promises?
3. Do I respect their father and his extended family at all times?
4. Do I reassure my children that they are loved by both p
5. Am I doing the best I can to spend quality time with my children?
6. Do I lean on my children for emotional support?
7. Am I cautious of the people I bring into our world?
8. Do I take care of myself?
I want to share this questionaire from my chapter on Recovery After Divorce, “Learning to Love Yourself: Self-Esteem for Women.” The book will be available in June 2009 in major bookstores and on amazon.com
Brigitte Wangberg, M.S., MFT